Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
11.06.2025 03:41
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
Has anyone tried bestiality and been caught?
And the sadness?
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
Why has my ex moved on so fast after years of being together with me?
Be who you already are.
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
The sadness was still there.
How to watch Apple’s WWDC keynote with iOS 26 and more - 9to5Mac
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
It’s still here.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
Why do SpaceX rockets keep exploding? - The Verge
I had run out of hope.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
Ram to enter trucks in 2026 with possible future move to Cup for Dodge - FOX Sports
I was tired of trying and failing.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
You are like me, then.
6 million Chickens Dead and Counting - Daily Kos
It’s here now, writing to you.
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
Why are American university students fine with sharing a room?
I was tired of fighting.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.